So a friend of mine, Shannon, did this and talked me into it. I’m not really sure how applicable it is to my only concrete work in progress, since Færie Patrol is so very much a “I’ll jot down a few words if I suddenly get a bug” status right now.
Still, it’s cute, it can’t hurt, so what the hell, right?
I so very much believe this. I mean, why couldn’t a young lady wish to play with Transformers™, you a young man to play with Barbie™?
Why does the former have to mean she’s a “tom boy” or the little boy a … does anyone say ‘sissy’ anymore?
A toy is a toy. If it makes the child happy, who cares what colour it is or what character it is? Does it matter the child’s age or sex if they find joy in a dolly, or if they find a little pleasure in a Nerf™ gun?
Frankly the only time a toy ought to care about sex is, as the graphic says, when it’s for sex — some of those just don’t work for one set of parts or the other.
Well, another topic that interested me turned up. So, here we go.
Chapters. How long should they be?
Oh my, oh honey, no. That would be one of those silly “writing rules” that are such a terrible travesty of the creative process. Forget should.
Now, that said, I’m going to tell you how long a chapter should be: as long as it needs to be.
I say that a lot, don’t I? Should a character be gay? If they’re gay, yes. Should I write in English or French? Which do you prefer?
The only rule of writing is:
a) write
b) use proper grammar, punctuation, spelling, and so forth except when you need not to. Never ignore them out of laziness or ignorance.
c) openly, deliberately, and consciously violate the laws of reality. Doing so out of ignorance won’t do. That’s not to say you should become a master locksmith to make up a lock for your burglar series, but rather that you should realise you know nothing of locks and thus deliberately make it up. Know thyself whenst thou writeth.
What does this have to do with how long to make a chapter? That’s the point. How long a chapter is is only as relevant as it needs to be, as with most aspects of writing.
Really, just ask the lovely gentlemen of Oxford:
noun
- a local group of Hell’s Angels.
See? No defined length.
There’s nothing even dictating one must have chapters. Look at the fantastic Sir Terry Pratchett. True, his YA Discworld books have chapters, but that’s at the behest of his YA publisher. He’d not have them otherwise and has said so.
Oh, but Jaye, you’re one to talk your own chapters are absurdly long! Well, okay, yes they are. I have my methods. I seriously considered not using chapters, but I decided that they made the story more manageable for both writing and reading if it had chapters and I agonised, at times, over where to break them. I hope that, by and large, I’ve done well on that point.
Still, as with any aspect of storytelling, the length of a chapter should be natural. Don’t put parameters of word count or page count to it or you’ll find yourself breaking your parameters often in order not to break in awkward places — or, worse, following them too rigidly indeed and breaking in those terribly awkward places. A chapter break goes where a chapter break goes to you — where you feel is a good place to close this, oh look a cliché (actually an idiom, but too many authors and readers alike are fuzzy on the distinction), chapter of the plot (expression seem familiar? “This chapter of my life” help?). When in doubt, ask yourself where, in a movie, there would be a nice dissolve, or in TV where a commercial break would fit comfortably and you’ll be on a fair track.
A very awesome short story by the lovely and talented Ms McGuire.
The locker room is always tense before a game. Alisa is trying to get her uniform to stay in place, counting more on safety pins and prayer than she probably should, and Birdie–true to her name–keeps whistling, which is probably going to get her slapped if she doesn’t stop soon. Cram twenty girls from opposing squads into one small space and tensions are going to flare.
continued here: Homecoming.
Below is a screenshot of a bit of comment spam that WP caught for me this morning.
This is just insulting! Cooking video?! Are they even trying?! I mean Regarding Fanfic, I’m fairly certain, doesn’t contain anything that any properly written algorithm should decide is about cooking.
I mean, come on people! If you’re going to run a scam, you’ve got to try harder! Just a little more effort, just a little more, and that might have just about looked like a legitimate comment … to someone who wasn’t paying attention, maybe, but still. But, no, of course not. They have to go talking about cooking. I don’t talk about cooking, so red flag number one. Oh look, it’s on my fanfic policy page … duh.
I hope that computers reach the point they’re at in Jeph Jacques‘ Questionable Content comic soon, simply because I’d love to think that no self-respecting sentient machine would allow itself to send such insultingly undisguised nonsense.
Josie is Mike’s older sister and often mistaken for his twin since the two’s birthdays place them in the same grade. The two do get along fairly well, and are reasonably close, though there is a fair amount of fighting, disagreement, and rivalry between them.
Josie became a fast and dear friend of Allison’s almost the moment they met out of a seemingly inexhaustible supply of shared interests, and is Zach’s not-exactly girlfriend. They started dating shortly after meeting, but refused to call themselves a couple or even agree to any degree of exclusivity.
The single interest of Josie’s that isn’t shared with Allison is a fondness for firearms, especially pistols. She doesn’t have an extensive collection, but loves to fire them and enjoys meeting other people with the same interest — especially ones who might be persuaded to join her at the firing range.
Her dream is to be an Olympic sprinter, but she has asthma bad enough that has been dissuaded from running track competitively; she took up swimming as a therapy for her breathing — which has helped — and she’s got quite good, but is not planning to do it competitively. Instead she is considering practising with rifles and going into competitive marksmanship. Her only other plans involve going to Brown, and picking a major using darts (which she hastens to assure her parents is a joke, though no one’s sure it really is).
Sadly, I just got done interacting with CreateSpace.
I can’t recall now if I was just working with an estimator before, or not, but now that the book is up for processing and eventual sale the final price tag is us$17.99, with standard exchange rates applied to the price tag for £ & € (sorry I don’t recall those numbers off hand and am not in a good position to look them back up right this moment).
The eBook, naturally, will be far more affordable as it will be under us$5
Jaye Em Edgecliff 