Now & Forever ABCs (Maureen)

Maureen Violet Conners

30 November 1989
Lutheran (ELCA)

Maureen is a student at Harvard University where she is taking her first strides toward becoming a paediatric psychiatrist.

Maureen has always been a highly academic young woman, and currently is taking as full a course load as her school will allow and each semester, including summer, that is offered.  She plans to get ten years of school in, at least, six.

She volunteers her time with tutoring her favourite subject, English, and by this met her boyfriend, Kaede.

Emmy, as Maureen is often called by Gramps (short for Emily Post), is a fastidious and very Proper young woman.  She has always, even at a young age, preferred to dress very well and very neatly, she took her lessons in etiquette and decorum to heart, and is always well spoken and polite.  Though her maternal grandfather was something of a corruptive influence, possibly genetically, as she has his habit of calling people by random nicknames — though, unlike him, she doesn’t do it to everyone nor in any and sundry circumstance.

By her own opinion she got next to no colour from her parents.  With regards to features she got her mother’s striking blue eyes, her father’s blonde hair — though she did get a red tint from Yvette, and through an interesting blending of skin types she barely freckles let alone tan.  Makeup quickly became as automatic to Maureen, therefore, as breathing; this has lead to teasing from Lauren and a few of her friends with variations on the idea of calling her a China doll.

Many people unaccustomed to her find Maureen a contradiction.  Dressed as immaculately and primly as she is, they would expect her to be stuck up or a bit prissy at worst, certainly very squeamish and reluctant to go near even a little dust, but she isn’t.  She is a very personable young woman who, while conscious of her clothes and careful of actually ruining them, is largely unconcerned with soiling her wardrobe; she will gladly engage in work on the farm, or help her parents in the garden, or perform household chores without the faintest hesitation.

Can anyone write a novel?

We’re approaching another WriMo event.  They’ve got this ‘anyone can write a novel’ attitude and philosophy.

But is it true?

Hard to say, for one thing, how do you define a novel?  For my purposes I like Wikipedia’s answer of the moment:

novel is a long prosenarrative that describes fictional characters and events in the form of a sequential story, usually. The genre has historical roots in the fields of medieval and early modernromance and in the tradition of the novella. The latter, an Italian word used to describe short stories, supplied the present generic English term in the 18th century.

Further definition of the genre is historically difficult. The construction of the narrative, the plot, the relation to reality, the characterization, and the use of language are usually discussed to show a novel’s artistic merits. Most of these requirements were introduced to literary prose in the 16th and 17th centuries, in order to give fiction a justification outside the field of factual history.

Now, I’m going to say no … and yes.  This isn’t GATTACA, anyone can fly a plane, but not anyone can fly with the Blue Angels.  I’m not talking about eyesight and other requirements, I mean some people simply lack the reflexes, the neurological circuitry to do that without killing themselves or others.  In some cases, timing is something you’re born with, not something you learn.  I think everything in life is this way.  Some people have talents that guide them one way or another.

In this vein, no, not anyone can write a novel.  Not everyone possesses the talent to tell a story well, to build endearing and enduring characters, to entrance and enthrall the reader.  Am I such a person?  I hope so, but who knows?  I suppose in the end only time can say.

Anyone can be taught written language.  Even severe dyslexics can learn the ideographic writing of China or Japan, and the corresponding languages, and tell a story in them.  You can then learn about structure, characterisation, plotting, and all manner of other things I can’t name because I neither think about them or even know about them (I never paid attention in Lit class … well, twice.  Once we were reading works by Edgar Allan Poe, and the other was Romeo & Juliet).  They would have a technically perfect novel when they were done.  They would have a long work of fiction, but is it a novel?

That depends.  Let’s leave the world of fiction and writing for a moment and go to another bit of art:  Music.  Did you know that study after study says that people don’t like computer generated music?  I don’t mean MP3s, I mean programming a computer to reproduce a piece of music.  Why not?  It’s Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, Jimmy Hendrix, but without the flaws!  It’s perfect, each note exactly the right length, each chord exactly the right pitch and key; the frequencies guaranteed or your money back.  That’s the problem though.  It’s soulless.  That perfection, that exact timing, that exact frequency, it’s … wrong.  Music has life, has spirit, and the people playing it adjust accordingly.  It might say an eighth note on the paper, but it really needs to be a 31/256th note, but that would be silly to write down.  It might say C♯, or B♭ but really it needs to be something just … not exactly that.  Then the music is perfect.  And that’s something that can’t be taught to a computer, nor to a human being who lacks that talent, lacks that ear and sense for when to make a ‘mistake’.

Is what the computer makes music?  If it is, then yes … anyone can write a novel, make music, paint a portrait, write a sonnet, and so on.  If not, then no — they can put words on paper, paint on canvas, make sound out of an instrument, and put 14 lines in a rhyming pattern on the page.

The most endearing, the most well loved stories are ones that don’t follow ‘The Rules of Writing’ as a lit major might refer to them.  Have you ever noticed how the things that lit majors and their ilk go on and on about in rapt adoration are the things no one else reads, no one has heard about unless they had to endure it for a literature class, and/or are things that, have you read them, are known to cause you to wake up years later in a cold sweat going on about giant dung beetles?  At the time, Mark Twain’s stuff was not well liked, Robert Service wasn’t considered a Real Poet, and J. R. R. Tolkien told silly children’s stories (when he wasn’t reinventing the study of Beowulf, of course).  These people broke The Rules!  They didn’t do things Right!  Good God, for one thing, they wrote stuff that was popular!  Accessible!  And, horror of horrors, entertaining!  Cardinal sins, one would think from the way some go on about them so.  But perhaps novels, short stories, poems, paintings, and many other things need that little bit of instinct, that little voice and connection that says ‘no, that’s not exactly right, I’m going to do it this way instead’.  Maybe a technically good novel … isn’t.

So yes, I think anyone can write a novel.  Anyone can learn to put words on a page, get enough of them together to have plot, characters, a beginning, a middle, and an end.  No, I don’t think just anyone can write a good novel.  Not everyone has the knack for telling a good yarn, and keeping the audience’s attention; to breathe life and soul into the words.

A good novel is one you read and you think, This wasn’t bad, not my cuppa, but I can totally see why people who’re into this kinda thing would like it.  For me that’s Seanan McGuire‘s October Day series, too dark for my tastes, but well written and a good novel nonetheless, just not one I’m in a hurry to read.

But what do I know?  I said, I found more interesting things to do in my literature classes, both high school and college, than paying attention.  I can’t even name the rules of writing.  I couldn’t really give a definition of theme, nor could I find the theme of most things I read with both hands, a GPS, and a pack of bloodhounds.  I just love to read, love to explore the worlds of imagination; to sail the high seas with Long John Silver, to explore the Yukon and Alaska with Mr London, investigate the stars with Heinlein, fight heroic battles with John Carter upon the vast plains of Mars, and face dragons with a little burglar named Bilbo Baggins.  Maybe I don’t know a good novel from a bad one, but I know what I like.

A statement I’ll never understand

This is one of those series that I desperately wanted to write, and never thought I’d be allowed to.

That statement is from Seanan McGuire‘s LJ.

I’ve a great respect for her writing, I’m an unabashed fan of her Incryptid series, and while her other series is rather darker than my tastes lean toward I’ll never deny that they’re good … for what they are.

But statements like that one?! She’s not the only one I’ve seen voicing either the identical or a similar sentiment. In such cases I can’t help question the intelligence and/or sanity of the one saying it.

You’re free to write anything. Hell in China you’re free to write anything you want. George Orwell‘s immortal 1984‘s horrible dystopia is the only occasion I can personally name where you’re not free to write what you wish.

Publish, now that’s another cup of tea altogether. Perhaps the publisher you’re with refuses to accept your young adult space western romance about an intergalactic rodeo clown and his sorcerous twin. Big deal, find another publisher, or bloody self-publish! The only way you could be not allowed to publish the story would be if it violates copyright (sorry fanficcers, but it’s just plain fact. File off those serial numbers and put a fresh coat of paint on first), or if you’re writing something the Chinese government doesn’t like and you happen to be in China.

Really, it’s just daft phrasing at best, sloppy thinking most likely, or just plain stupid at worst to think you can’t write or (barring a couple of legal barriers) even publish something on grounds of ‘am I allowed to’. Not until Big Brother is watching your every action and possibly monitoring your very thoughts.

So go on, write that fantasy story about the lesbian trans-gender dwarf and her elven lover and their traveling circus of bandits and cutthroats in a fairyland Camelot. No one but yourself … and, hopefully, good taste … can stop you. After that, find someone who’ll buy it or just put it out yourself, because in this glorious age the old adage ‘if you want something done right …’ can be very easily applied to the good ol’ profession of writing.